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Human nature.

(The four laws of being human.)

I.
In image and in verse,
In ocean and in song,
We will always tell our stories.
For the show must  go on.

The image takes us elsewhere,
and the verse moves us along.
But despite our programmed hardware,
We are all but slaves to song.

II.
Ten bodies fall on the field of battle.
But nobody knows their names.
The only thing left which is not forgotten
Is the place from which they came

When leading ourselves by our hands,
we, in our own minds, are gods.
To hell with the earth, her people and lands,
while we sit silent upon the logs.

III.
I've heard before that love is pain,
yes this indeed I've heard.
But pain is not what love is for,
which makes it quite absurd.

I've loved a little, I've died a lot,
each time in their turn.
But love is always bigger to me,
for this is the life I've learned.

IV.
Human nature is a puzzling job,
although we seem to care.
Human nature is a troubling lot,
but a lot we all must bear.
©2005-2009 ~Kingjing
:iconkingjing:

Author's Comments

The four laws of human nature. I couldn't figure out what section to but it in, actually.
Be warned: This is my first attempt at poetry, so it may not even be worth reading. But if you do read, please give ADVANCED crits! I want to improve!

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconzeish:
the last stanza, I feel, adds something unecessary to the poem, which basicly suggests its message through images and verse...
but all in all, good work!

--
~lsh
//
I'll count the days till my dreams take over...
:iconpentical:
That was beautiful. Very deep, a little confusing, I had to read it a few times to figure out the second part but I love the peice as a whole.

--
"It's a RoadRunner world and we are all coyotes in it"

"Never let the sun go down tomorrow, before the sun rises today"
:iconkingjing:
Now that I look at it again, I can see what you mean. Thanks for the crits! :D

--
[link] Raw Em0tion.
:iconkingjing:
Thanks! :D

--
[link] Raw Em0tion.
:iconmerrique:
It flows nicely through the first two stanzas, but gets a bit choppy in some lines throughout the rest. I agree with zeish about the last stanza. (I usually take the chunks that don't fit well and write new ones off of it.)

For a first attempt though this is very pretty. ^^ :heart:
:iconlorah:
deeply beautiful justin. I am no kno it all when it comes ot every detail about poetry. But I thought it was very well thought out.
My fav part was:
I've loved a little, I've died a lot,
each time in their turn.
But love is always bigger to me,
for this is the life I've learned.
I understoond your poem, at least what I got out off it.
Human nature is quit puzzling
hehe silly humans lol

--
°•°•Freckles°•°•
:iconkingjing:
Okay, I'll try and work on that some more. Thanks for the crits! :D

--
[link] Raw Em0tion.
:icondeepermeanings:
"I've heard before that love is pain,
yes this indeed I've heard.
But pain is not what love is for,
which makes it quite absurd."

I LOVE this verse. It's so true.

--
"If all the world is a stage, and we are merely players, then always stay in the spotlight and PROJECT!" -Mr. Grant
:iconkingjing:
Thanks! :D

--
[link] Raw Em0tion.

Details

November 16, 2005
1.3 KB

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